Jody Wallace Official Newsletter: Peddle Faster!
Issue 2
March 31, 2008
"So much cyberspace, so little time."

Contents:

1) Authorly Blather
2) Promo & Updates (P-U for short)
3) What's For Dinner?
4) Excerpts & Other Treats
5) Free Stuff & Contests
6) Reader Mail and Reviews
7) Links & Info

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AUTHORLY BLATHER

I've had reviews on my Red Sage anthologies, but getting reviews for A SPELL FOR SUSANNAH has been a new experience. With the anthologies, there were fellow authors in the trenches with me, sharing the highlights and the lowlights. At least one or two novellas in the Secrets anthologies pleased each reviewer, sometimes more. Four authors with four different voices, four different plots, four different love stories, and four different approaches to writing romance meant four chances for a reviewer to find something she enjoyed. Same thing for readers.

However, with A SPELL FOR SUSANNAH, either you like my writing voice or you don't. Either you like my style of plotting and sense of humor or you don't. Either you believe the couple's progress down the primrose path or you don't. No second chances. Each of the hundred thousand words in the book was placed there by yours truly, so each review has been a test of my ego, my ability to professionalize the writing-career experience. So far, no zingers, but I'm sure my remarking upon this will ruin my streak.

And when it does, I'll roll with it. Reviews aren't easy to write, especially if a book wasn't to your taste.

So here's a question for my subscribers. If you were going to run a review site, what would your measurement be? Back in the days of yore I ran a site/newsletter called the Science Fiction Romance Newsletter (now defunct). I didn't give a rating, just a review. That was hard enough without having to tack an external grade on the sucka.

If I were to do reviews now, I think I'd rate books with hairballs and reverse the order. Zero hairballs for the best books and 5 hairballs for the worst books. To be funnier and pithier, I could call them "kaks". Authors blessed by my attentions could say, "I only got a single kak from Meankitty Reviews!!" And people would look at her funny, via the internet (I guess they'd look at the screen funny), and it would rouse their curiosity enough to find out why kak was bragworthy, and Meankitty Reviews would get more traffic and obviously more devoted followers, since I'd also embed a subliminal code on the page that forced anyone who visited to return on a regular basis and heap praise upon the human who created the site to anyone they encountered. I'd also insert into my subliminal messages an automatic satisfaction with the number of updates I graced upon the internet at large per month and a love for my incredibly long yet grammatically correct sentences, even when updates were sporadic and the sentences seemed to have come from the mind of a crazy person.

Until May --

JW

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PROMO & UPDATES (P-U!)

* I sold a third nugget of joy to Samhain, a novella entitled "Liam's Gold", which has an e-release date of November 2008. It's set in the same world as SURVIVAL OF THE FAIREST, although you certainly don't have to read one to understand the other. The novella is a little hotter than my two novels but will be released as me and not Ellie Marvel.

* For her part, Ellie is negotiating a contract with Red Sage Publishing for an interactive novella called "Megan's Choice". Megan's a starship pilot who's looking for good beer, better sex and maybe even true love. Whether or not she finds any of the above will be up to the reader! If this novella works out, I could foresee more adventures of Megan in the future. I'll keep you posted.

* I am a featured author for April at The Romance Studio: http://www.theromancestudio.com/

* If you like fairy tales as much as I do, and maybe even if you don't, I created a fairy tale quiz: http://www.gotoquiz.com/fairy_tale_trivia

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WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

January's recipe was such a success (meaning, nobody sent me hate mail for poisoning them), I've decided to share another of my culinary treasures. If anybody ever actually TRIES one of these recipes, feel free to email me about it. Let's see what the Wallace household is having for dinner, shall we?

Marinated Pork Loin

*1 boneless pork loin, one of the ones wrapped in sealed packages. Sometimes they split themselves in two, and they look a lot like tiny graboids from the Tremors movie, a family favorite. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100814/

* Various marinading type elements

1) About 6 hours before cooking the meat, open graboid package and put meat into a gallon sized ziplock bag. When you accidentally drop the meat on the floor because it's slimier than you expected, a quick rinse is all it takes to satisfy yourself that you aren't risking your family's health. The meat is going to be cooked and you mopped the kitchen floor just yesterday, right before hubby threw a poker party. How dirty can it be?

2) Wash hands.

3) Step towards utensil drawer to get a fork.

4) Slip and slide in the slimy spot created by dropped beast.

5) Wash feet; wash floor.

6) Forget why you wanted fork and instead look through cluttered fridge full of beer that the poker players didn't drink and junk food they didn't eat for that half bottle of teriyaki marinade you KNOW you saw in there. Fail to find marinade. Eat a peanut butter fudge brownie in distress...with a fork. Aha! That's why you wanted it.

7) Check pantry for marinade. Find various salad dressings, soy sauce and some kind of lime-ade packet. Hm. Put lime-ade packet back into cabinet.

8) Add half a bottle of Asian salad dressing, soy sauce, fancy beer and lemon juice to gallon bag. Squish around meat. Eat another pb fudge brownie to sustain you until dinner.

9) Marinate in fridge for 5-6 hours. About 3 hours into it, realize you need another pb fudge brownie.

10) It's nearly time to prepare dinner. Vaguely recall the graboid didn't take that long, but have forgotten details. Paw through garbage to find instructions on the baggie. Garbage is gross and full of diapers, thoughtfully placed there by hubby, who figures it's better to put them there than the actual diaper pail. Take a moment to ponder what the heck your diaper-wearing toddler has been eating to make...things...that toxic, because she sure as heck isn't going to eat graboid. Finally find baggie and it says to grill 35 minutes on medium or bake 40 minutes at 350.

11) Wash hands. Eat last pb fudge brownie to erase the scents and sights of the garbage from your mind.

12) When it's 40 minutes before the dinner hour, place meat in preheated oven. Wait, was it supposed to be set at 350? Or 400? Paw through garbage AGAIN to confirm. Wash hands AGAIN. There are no more brownies to console you this time, alas.

13) When dinnertime arrive, realize you aren't very hungry and your breath smells of pb brownies. Regardless, grit your teeth and pretend to love the overly salty graboid when your husband and kids complain. Really, is it *that* salty or is it just the contrast with the pb brownie in your teeth? Hard to say. Write yourself a note, which your hubby throws away during the after-meal kitchen cleaning, not to use so much soy sauce next time.

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EXCERPTS & OTHER TREATS

Let's focus on short fiction today! I've got several excerpts for you, plus a little something at the end that isn't published yet. Tell me what you think of it and whether you'd like to read the rest!

*** Excerpts not included in sample newsletter for reasons of length ***

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FREE STUFF & CONTESTS

* Samhain Publishing authors have teamed up with Coffeetime Romance to do a Spring Showers promo here: http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/forumdisplay.php?f=452 Every week, authors post excerpts and readers read and comment. Based on how many excerpts they commented on, readers' names are drawn to win books and other loot. At the end of the whole shebang? Samhain is giving away an eBookwise ebook reader! I'm going to be posting an excerpt in the next week or so and giving away a copy of SFS. Come comment on my excerpt to try and win the book -- plus the ebook reader!

* Another chance to win -- if you'd like a copy of A SPELL FOR SUSANNAH plus a lovely, hand-made princess gift bag you can use and use again (http://www.jodywallace.com/contests.htm), I'm having a drawing. I'll put SOMETHING in the gift bag (nothing living!) to make your triumph over my random number generator extra special. I will accept entries over the next two months and announce the winner in my next newsletter and on my site and blog -- roughly the end of May.  Visit the site for full details about how to enter. 

Here's your perk: newsletter subscribers who enter will be entered twice, so you need to tell me you're a subscriber when you email your entry and make sure you use the address at which you're subscribed to the newsletter.

(NOTE:  CONTEST INFORMATION IS NOT CURRENT FOR SAMPLE NEWSLETTER)

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READER MAIL & REVIEWS

I've finally gotten some nice reviews for A SPELL FOR SUSANNAH! Let me inundate you with the many winsome words of wise cyber women:

"A Spell for Susannah is absolutely fantastic. Exceptionally told with the look and feel of a fairy tale, but this is no story for children. With exceptionally detailed prose, the author creates a sensuous fantasy world complete with romance, fairies, spells and intrigue. The depth and personality of all the characters made the story even more enjoyable. I absolutely adored the twelve princesses and would have loved to have gotten to know more of them better. This is one highly entertaining and original novel. I would not ever hesitate to read anything by Jody Wallace." -- Bonnie-Lass for Coffeetime Romance

"Jody Wallace has truly done a fabulous job of telling a story surrounding the princesses....Out of all the men that come to visit, Jon Tom is the one person that Susannah finds intriguing and makes her angry at the same time. As they come together to solve the true curse, emotions between them heat up unbelievably and the ending will have you cheering for everyone." -- Goddess Minx for Literary Nymph Reviews

"With her delightfully quirky brand of humor, Jody Wallace gives an old story a wonderfully new and unique twist....Ms. Wallace is a bright new talent who shines in both the elements of fantasy and romance. A Spell for Susannah makes a memorable first impression as you laugh and cheer the main characters on to their well deserved happily ever after." -- LeeAnn for Fallen Angel Reviews

"This is a tongue-in-cheek romp (think, oh, Piers Anthony's fantasy stories). ... Ms Wallace has achieved a very nice balance between the story and the humorous elements in A Spell For Susannah. The storyline is pretty strong and coherent without being buried under a mountain of jokes. Everything comes together very nicely here, making it a pleasurable story to read and laugh with." -- Mrs. Giggles for Herself

"This enjoyable adaptation of the Twelve Dancing Princesses fairy tale is clever and intriguing. Jody Wallace gives the story a new face, adding some modern elements that spark the plot and provide the reader with plenty of smiles along the way. She has a great feel for her characters, a nice sense of comic timing, and a contagious sense of humor. There is a definite attitude that pervades the story, and is most apparent in her female characters. Just a touch of snark that makes things really interesting, and adds to the charms of the romantic relationship. This is a great read when you want something light and entertaining, but truly satisfying." -- Miranda Lee for ParaNormal Romance Reviews

"With a gentle humor that is akin to, but not as bald as Gregory Maguire's, Ms. Wallace sweeps us away to magical lands populated by witty women and somewhat clueless, for the most part, men that they love. It's an interesting place to visit, and I'd enjoy seeing how the other eleven girls find their way to romance." -- Amanda Killgore for Huntress Reviews

***

On the other hand, Ellie Marvel has gotten zero new reviews for her Red Sage novella, "Heat". I guess it's not all that hot anymore *heh*.

As for reader mail, she got this from Sena: "'Birthday' [from Secrets 17] is one of my all-time fav books. You're a total rock star....Please tell me you slaved away on it. You wrote morning, noon, and night. Without food or water. Struggling to piece the words together." While I was unable to confirm my lack of food and water during the writing of "Birthday", I did assure Sena I had definitely written parts of the book in the morning, some around noon, and some at night.

Here's a comment I got on the video my daughter and I made for Susannah: "Your video is soooo cute! And the story sounds intriguing. How exciting for you and congratulations!" -- Ester "P.S. I loved your cover art, too."

If you want to see the video Ester liked, it's here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lep4oP5w6CQ

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LINKS & INFO

My website: http://www.jodywallace.com (for anyone)

My penname site: http://www.elliemarvel.com (for 18+)

My cat's website: http://www.meankitty.com (she's much more famous than I am)

My blog: http://meankittybox.blogspot.com (the cat lets me pipe up...sometimes)

My MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/meanwallace (everyone's doin' it!)

My YouTube page: http://www.youtube.com/elliemarvel (cat and book videos)

My group blog #1: http://otherworlddiner.blogspot.com (humorous paranormal authors)

Group blog #2: http://paranormalauthors.blogspot.com (Samhain's paranormal authors)

My favorite site to waste time: http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/ (Fugly is the new pretty)

A site I visited a lot recently: http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/forumdisplay.php?f=452 (Coffeetime Spring Showers Promo)

An article about the oldest known pet cat: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/04/0408_040408_oldestpetcat.html (Really, they've been controlling us for ages!)

Big Cat Sanctuary here in Tennessee: http://www.tigerhaven.org/

Elephant Sanctuary here in Tennessee: http://www.elephants.com/

My books are for sale at these websites and more:

www.samhainpublishing.com
www.eredsage.com
www.amberquillpress.com
www.zumayapublications.com
www.allromanceebooks.com
www.fictionwise.com
www.amazon.com
www.barnesandnoble.com