Holiday Short Story for Free

In my most recent newsletter, I updated my subscribers about my audiobook news, some releases in Magic, New Mexico, and included a free holiday short story! To encourage more folks to sign up for the newsletter, I will include the first page of the story here and then the sign up link. So if you sign up — let me know and I’ll make sure you get the whole story! I love having subscribers — it’s like I have friends I email every month, ha. (Please note that I email my friends a lot, too, and in fact they get real sick of texts about cat vomit and why am I so tired.)

New Year’s Magic, by Jody Wallace

At precisely 12:00 am on New Year’s Day, when he came at her for a celebratory kiss, Ana’s date turned into a pumpkin.

“Crap!” Ana snatched up the large gourd before any of her fellow revelers smashed it. The residual effects of the spell should prevent bystanders from noticing the transmogrification, but the spell to change Jimmy back into the human he’d been ten seconds ago wouldn’t work on pumpkin pulp.

a crochet cat butt on a pumpkin
A pumpkin…and a cat butt!

She was going to kill that damn cat. This time, she was really going to do it.

Leading with the pumpkin, she pushed free of the throng. Confetti and balloons drifted from the ceiling as the crowd broke into a drunken rendition of Auld Lang Syne. Her stilettos pinched her toes with every stomp.

Not that the date had been going fabulously—it was hard for a sorceress to relax with a normie, even one as cute as Jimmy—but she’d been dateless for too long. The last man who’d truly interested her… Well, the less said about him the better.

Except she’d be saying a lot of things to him here in about twenty minutes. Threatening things.

MEankitty Publishing logo on here for a free holiday short story

What do you think happens next? Want to find out? Go here to sign up for my newsletter. It comes out about once a month and always, always has gratuitous cat.


Jody Wallace’s 30+ titles in sf/f and contemporary romance feature diverse protagonists, action, adventure, and plenty of cats. Visit her at www.jodywallace.com and the cats at www.meankitty.com

Are You Grompy and Chonky?

I bet you are. I sure am. In fact, I am so grompy and so chonky and so completely enthralled with KITTIES that I have commissioned a very special item from an artist who is local to my real-world location. I would like to offer you…

The best T-shirt in the world!

two t-shirts with a fat mad cat drawn on them and the words 'grompy and chonky'
You too can advertise the truth about your soul….

I make zero dollars from this shirt, zero kickback, only the JOY of knowing that more people in this world are wearing this shirt. The artist, Panda Ink Designs, so perfectly captured what was in my head when all I did was babble some nonsense. The shirt is a soft cotton a little on the thin side (but in a good way), and I’d say it runs a tiny bit small compared to other shirts I own, most of which I get at the thrift store so they’ve already been washed…a bit. Haha.

Here are the colors:

colors available for the grompy and chonky shirt

I got a bright pink that I hope does well at hiding stains, since I… Well. I have never met a garment I couldn’t stain just by wearing it. Food or no food. It’s a skill.

Recommend getting the white print on the darker colored shirts. Please, please help yourself! And let me know how fantastic it is to walk through the day letting everyone know you are straight up grompy and chonky. Click either of the photos to be taken to the order form! Or here.


The cover for blue guard by jody wallace on a fancy blended blue background

Jody Wallace’s 30+ titles in sf/f and contemporary romance feature diverse protagonists, action, adventure, and plenty of cats. Visit her at www.jodywallace.com and the cats at www.meankitty.com

DNA at Crime Scenes

Oh, dat boy. He left DNA at crime scenes. He’s been very very bad. Or has he? Only YOU can finish this story.

A catty writer prompt where your cat's DNA has been found at several crime scenes. DNA at crime scenes.
DNA? Yum!

If you want to see more catty prompts, here is the place I post them on TWitter!


three books by jody wallace

Jody Wallace’s 30+ titles in sf/f and contemporary romance feature diverse protagonists, action, adventure, and plenty of cats. Visit her at www.jodywallace.com and the cats at www.meankitty.com

Kitty Lothario

Got any spare time on your hands for writing an AMAZING story? How about this for a prompt. Do you think a kitty lothario might be guilty? How is Mr. Man making this happen? Does he have human help?

In the town where you live, everyone's cat has started giving birth to polydactyl kittens...even cats kept inside the house.

three books by jody wallace

Jody Wallace’s 30+ titles in sf/f and contemporary romance feature diverse protagonists, action, adventure, and plenty of cats. Visit her at www.jodywallace.com and the cats at www.meankitty.com

Always Have Helpers

Don’t ever try to be a writer on your own. You always need a helper. This is my advice to you. It doesn’t make ME your helper, not exactly, because you need your own personal helpers.

Here is one of mine. Multiple helpers are beneficial!

A white cat sleeping between a person and her laptop which has been shoved way down to her knees. He is one of the author's helpers.

This is Magnus. He helps me by making sure I don’t write too long and get all stiff and sore. He strives to be like Pumpkin from Catalyst.

While he has not quite earned a place on Meankitty.com, it’s not for lack of trying! He has a thing for toes and loves to fetch. Especially roaches. Especially at 3 am. That’s a long story.


three books by jody wallace

Jody Wallace’s 30+ titles in sf/f and contemporary romance feature diverse protagonists, action, adventure, and plenty of cats. Visit her at www.jodywallace.com and the cats at www.meankitty.com

Dragons for Me, Cats for Evelyn

This week our dragon romance box sets of Dragons of Tarakona paranormal stories released, along with another fantastical book from the worlds of Magic, New Mexico. Alongside me and my cowriter DB Sieders, Evelyn Lederman released a romance called Wild Enchantment with a CAT on the cover!

an ad for 3 new books in the magic, new mexico world. there are dragon romance box sets and a paranormal romance that includes a cat

I also released a newsletter today wherein Meankitty interviewed the cats who own Evelyn, and we got some really good dirt on the human, as always. If you aren’t subscribed, you should be! Check at the top of the page to get yourself hooked up. Here’s the kitties’ introduction of themselves:

Precious, Rudie, and Stefano

Precious: I love sitting next to Evelyn while we watch TV. During the day, I’ll sleep with Rudie, but I don’t like Stefano, he’s a brat! I start the day with my treats, which I share with the other cats. I wasn’t happy when Evelyn adopted the kitties, but Rudie has grown on me.

Rudie: Every morning I wait for Evelyn to give me my treats. I don’t understand why she has to shower first. Stefano always has his nose up my butt, but I growl at him and he leaves me alone for a time. I like playing with my brother, but I don’t like it when he bites my neck trying to show his dominance over me. I sometimes get the best of him, that makes my day.

Stefano: My favorite part of the day is when Evelyn plays with me. I love the laser pointer. She’ll stop when she’s doing laundry or writing so we can play. Rudie used to play with me more, but she’s gotten so lazy. Precious just growls when I approach, she doesn’t have a sense of humor. There’s a bobcat who prowls outside my lanai at 2am and I howl at him. I don’t understand how everyone can sleep when there is so much to do in the wee hours of the morning.

If you are interested in finding out how much $$ you can save with our dragon romance box sets, the answer is at least 30% off the individual book prices. You can check out which box sets include which books: box set 1 and box set 2.

I also encourage you to hop over and check out Evelyn’s new release.


The cover for blue guard by jody wallace on a fancy blended blue background

Jody Wallace’s 30+ titles in sf/f and contemporary romance feature diverse protagonists, action, adventure, and plenty of cats. Visit her at www.jodywallace.com and the cats at www.meankitty.com

Zombie…or Cat?

dial v for vampire by isabella norse is a paranormal romantic comedyMeankitty Interviews Zombie, the main character in Dial V for Vampire, about a paranormal romantic comedy series

Recently a Meankitty human friend, Isabella Norse, released the first in a new paranormal romantic comedy series, Dial V for Vampire. The series feels like a cozy mixed with a sweet romance — fade to black or no sex scenes, good natured characters, light drama. After this post, if you have any other suggestions in this vein (LOL) of romance, please let us know!

But for now, the premise of this book is that our heroine, Maggie, has a snarky blog about living with a zombie, but when she comes up with the idea for the blog, she has no idea that supernatural creatures actually exist…

1) So, Zombie, how did you select the heroine of the paranormal romantic comedy to be your new human?

When you find yourself living on the streets, you learn to read people quickly or you don’t survive. Maggie had a good heart – she was always stopping to check on me and to bring me food. Sometimes, she even brought me treats from the diner. Life in a sewer drain was hard on these old bones. Once I earned Maggie’s trust, I gave her the opportunity to take me home with her. How could she resist?

2) Are you really as friendly as you seem in the book or are you biding your time?

I’m a pretty chill guy, but I don’t have the patience for drama. I’m not above raising a paw to a youngster in need of a bit of an attitude adjustment. *cough* Van Helsing *cough*

zombie the cat is a white fuzzy cat who appears in a paranormal romantic comedy series3) Do you have plans for the author/heroine to write future books about your adventures? You can include your methods of brain control or inspiring the non-fictional cats in the author’s life if needed.

I’ll make appearances in future novels but I’m enjoying being out of the lime light. My biggest decisions now are deciding between napping on the window seat (great view) or on Maggie’s laptop (it’s warm and guarantees that I get attention). When I feel the need to intervene, my preferred method of mind control is to sleep on Maggie’s head. She thinks the purrs are relaxing – little does she know that the vibration allows me to transfer my thoughts directly into her mind. I just try to act surprised when she acts on the ideas I implanted.

4) I notice the “heat” level of this paranormal romance book was on the sweet side of things. How do you plan to interrupt any hanky panky the hero and heroine try to get up to in order to keep the books PG rated?

That’s almost too easy! There is always the pile of strategically-placed barf (I can barf at will) or a well-timed swipe at Noah’s dangly bits. However, my favorite is the simple sit-and-stare. It weirds the humans out every time!

5) How did you inspire the heroine to be so smart that she was able to help the hero figure out there was a plot against him?

As much as it pains me to admit, I can’t take credit for that one. Maggie is a sharp girl and she had the advantage of looking at Noah’s situation with fresh eyes. However, I will take full credit for bringing them together. *wraps fluffy tail around paws smugly*

6) Can you share a sample blog entry the heroine wrote about you, Zombie, before she found out the truth about zombies?

Gladly. Just don’t let Maggie know that I can use her laptop – she still thinks she is coming up with all of these ideas on her own!

The care and feeding of zombies:

Well y’all, nursing a zombie back to health is easier said than done. I mean, just how healthy is a zombie anyway? Let’s face it, even on their best days, most zombies could use a facial if not a full-body seaweed wrap.

It has taken some experimentation but, in the event that you also find yourself caring for a zombie and don’t have any fresh brains on hand, (in this economy, who does?) canned tuna will work in a pinch.

Next post: Zombie Hygiene

***

Thanks for having me, Meankitty!

Zombie and Isabella (Izzy) Norse

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three books by jody wallace

Jody Wallace’s 30+ titles in sf/f and contemporary romance feature diverse protagonists, action, adventure, and plenty of cats. Visit her at www.jodywallace.com and the cats at www.meankitty.com

Hobbies for Writers

Writing and editing, although I love them, are jobs. A writer can’t write all the time, so she needs hobbies. Mine are crocheting and cats! In fact, before I was a published author, I was a world famous website person with the Meankitty Gallery. This was long before social media, back when cats and the internet first started combining forces to take over the world. 1999 or thereabouts.

Since then my Meankitty website–a treasure trove of pictures and stories from real people about their real and often horrible cats–has fallen by the wayside. Nobody visits anymore, nobody sends submissions anymore, and my energy gets directed to other things.

That being said, I STILL love Meankitty and think you will, too! I have worked with my web guru to set up a new design for it and I’m testing it at www.meankitty.net. Would love to hear your thoughts!

Jody W & Meankitty